I am literally on the cusp of having the life I've been dreaming about for about 8 years. And yet I am so easily derailed. It seems that every time I get close to a big positive thing in my life I back off. Christiane Northrup says that women worry too much and not only that but we seem to think that this worrying buys us something. "If I worry enough about by children, they will be safe."
I remember when I left real estate to become a doula, everything was ready. I had 6 months of salary in the bank, I had a contract with a doula program and a business plan, but as much as I wanted to give my notice, I almost didn't. I even went back to the office the day after my "last day" to make sure everything was ok, and then again 5 days later. Less than 18 months later I was running that doula program, still had most of my savings, and never regretted leaving my original job.
Today, I have 7 people who want to rent my house, thereby effectively replacing my income, I have 15 months of salary in the bank. I also now have a husband with a very secure and well paying job, which I did not have before. I own my farm outright, so really push come to shove I could let the bank have my house in the city. I have two doula clients for June, I am 8 months from receiving my degree in religious studies, and 20 months from receiving my degree in Midwifery. And I'm still overwhelmed by fear and worry.
Fear and worry are neither voluptuous or simple, so they have GOT to go.
Voluptuous Update: I found the sexiest black heels that even make my tree trunk ankles look feminine and delicate. AND wait for it....got them at TJ Maxx for less than $20. Wore them with a little black shirt dress this weekend.
Simplicity Update: After an utter breakdown while studying pharmacology yesterday, my husband has offered to do all the worrying from now on, so I can rest assured that it's getting done.
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