tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57893093866900647712023-06-20T21:31:57.860-07:00Voluptuous SimplicityAn average Minnesota girl with big dreams, moves to the country to reclaim herself and prove that modern homesteading can be sexy, voluptuous, and normal. And does not mean social death, going off the deep end, or preparing for armageddon.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-6201307515282955532014-06-01T12:10:00.004-07:002014-06-01T12:10:28.387-07:00A Not so Simplistic New BeginningHello all,<br />
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It's been awhile, but I feel called to resurrect my blog. Here's the thing though: My life is not as simplistic or voluptuous as it once was; I'll attempt to give you a 20 second review of my life since my last post...<br />
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I did in fact graduate from Midwifery school, and passed the licensure exam. The I had to travel to Seattle for business, which broke my herbalist's heart to see lush plantain, dandilion, and chickweed and know that it would be 3-4 months before I had it at home. I came home from that trip and decided to buy a house without my husband,(We are still together, but we rent his house and live in mine) but 4 weeks later I found out I was pregnant! That house deal fell through, so around my birthday I started looking in earnest, because now this home was not just for my own middle-aged need for independence, it was for a new life-and good schools, and a safe street. I moved into my Barbie Dream House on August 30th, and gave birth to my son on January 30, 2014. These have been the sweetest days of my life. My home is the sanctuary that I have been missing my whole life, and my son is the best thing I ever did!<br />
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I did choose a home that is very close to the farm, so I can have the best of both with a short commute. I am doing more homesteading this year than I have in previous years. We have 8 laying hens now, and just had a successful maple syrup season. I was a little bit obsessed with making healthy first foods for my baby to be last summer, so my canning pantry includes tons of veggies and fruits. I also stored water this year for the first time, which seemed a little bit too nutty until the watermains all over the upper midwest started freezing solid with the extra cold winter we had.<br />
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A week from today I turn 40 years old. Holy Crap! HOW the fuck did that happen? I will tell you however, that the rumors are true. I've never been more secure, happy, calm, empowered, or happy in my life-but I do have some disappointments with my body. So it seems I'm right on track.<br />
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Like all new moms, I have a hard time leaving the baby, so my social calendar is basically empty, but at least I love instead of hate my home.<br />
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I have always gotten introspective in the days and weeks leading up to my birthday. Every year since 17, I have spent that introspective time in regret. It occurred to me in the shower yesterday, that this year I have none! I'm still a little down, but I started listing the regrets that used to consume me, with which I no longer struggle:<br />
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<ul>
<li>I no longer wish that I would wake up in high school and be able to do my early adulthood over.-<i>This is directly related to connecting with some of my old classmates from high school whom are no more or less successful or happy than I am.</i></li>
<li>I no longer stress about money.<i> In the words of Jimmy Buffet "I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast." I have reasonable debt, decent savings, and good investments. I drive a 16 year old car, because what I drive is not important to me. I have nicer furniture than my income would allow, because I buy it used. I have a beautiful, way too big, Victorian home, but I bought it on a shortsale and it needs a lot of work-it's worth much more than I paid for it. Because someone has more than me does not make me a loser. Because I have more than someone else does not make me an asshole. Money comes and goes, and it doesn't mean as much to me as it used to.</i></li>
<li>My sense of personal style is strange and I could care less if anyone (men or women) likes it. <i>I like nice jewelry and very nice handbags. As a large curvy girl, clothing has never looked good on me, so I just don't care about it. Yes that is me carrying a $900 Burberry bag, and wearing Tiffany earrings with a my $4.00 Target dress from 2 years ago. Whatevs-that's how I roll. I am neither embarrassed nor self-conscious about either. Haters gonna hate.</i></li>
<li>I am so very grateful that I am no longer beating myself up about my education. <i>I finally went back for my degree and graduated with a 4.0. I can now admit that my first college experience failed due to my lack of maturity and lack of support, not because I was too dumb-which was my fear.</i></li>
<li>The world does not work at all like I expected, and that doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong. <i>Love is neither as wonderful nor as awful as we have been led to believe. What goes around, does not always come around. People do not get everything (good or bad) they deserve. Sometimes you do settle-and that's ok. Unanswered prayers are sometimes blessings. The entire world is shades of grey-and I'm not talking about mom-porn.</i></li>
<li>I am so happy that I don't have to wonder anymore what it would be like to have a baby. <i>It's the best thing ever.</i></li>
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Now I'm just focusing on defining my values; how to live them and how to pass them on. Now THAT's pretty voluptuous.<br />
<br />Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-89898898369231503612012-12-12T13:37:00.003-08:002012-12-12T13:37:50.333-08:0012-12-12 And so far nothingI hate to admit it, but my DH's sense of doom has gotten the better of him, just a little bit. He informed me last week that the housecat and I are being taken to the farm on December 20th "just in case"...Didn't I say this journey was not about the end of the world, oh dear...<br />
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Never mind that there is at least a foot of snow out there and the likelihood of either of our cars making it up the hill is a 50/50 shot at best.<br />
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I am graduating from midwifery school on Friday, I can't believe it is finally over. Still hasn't hit me, although the bill for my student loans just did, not sure where that money is going to come from just yet.<br />
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The fall has not been either voluptuous or simple. We are having a significant issue with our electrical system at the house, until next week, I will have still drove the 10 hour round trip to school each week. The cars need tires, the dishwasher is still broken, and the dryer died while I was away in Florida over the summer...It takes several days to do one load of laundry when it has to dry hung up all over the house, in case you were wondering. I handwashed DH's underwear in the sink and put them on the heat vent in my office, because that's his love language.<br />
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I saw a PBS show today about single female homesteaders to the plains from Norway in the 1800's. Those women were awesome! There was one lady, whose husband died on the trip over, who tended a ranch of 360 acres with two little kids and milked 80 cows per day! The amount of guilt I have over the moldy yogurt containers that I have yet to wash out, and my lamentation above about my appliances is pretty high.<br />
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I fluxuate these days as to whether I want to invest in more property as a half way to homestead living, or if I want to rid myself of most of what I own and call it "freedom". I remember setting off to college at Moorhead State back in 1992, in my 1979 Volvo station wagon and saying to myself, 'I never want to own more than I can fit in my car, and I never want to drive a car smaller than will fit all my stuff.' I wanted to be a self-sufficient, "get up and go" girl always ready to move on to the next adventure. I don't know who I am now.<br />
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I feel strongly about self-sufficiency, and it has meant different things to me at different times in my life. As a young woman, it definitely meant "belonging to no one". As I reached my 20's it was "needing no one", and now in my 30's it's closer to "being someone". I don't know what that has to do with canning veggies, or making yogurt, or quilting, but it does for me and that's all I can say about it.<br />
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So for now, the voluptuous truth is that I'm trying to manage the differences between whom I wanted to be, whom I have been, and whom do I want around me as I move forward in a state of Becoming. And I find that I am surrounded by people asking the same questions of themselves, with varied results.<br />
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So 2012 may be "the end of the world" of sorts. An end to a previous way of being. A death and rebirth of the soul, perhaps...<br />
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May the Creator pour out light upon you and give you peace. I'll see you on the other side.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-15736689013877691072012-09-20T04:58:00.000-07:002012-09-20T04:58:24.296-07:00My name is V. Nicole and I like electricity.I like electricity. I'm ashamed to say so, but I like it. The off grid thing is great, and I have adequate electricity to work on my computer during the day and a little bit of light at night, but for the most part, once the sun goes down I am in the "dim" at best. I can't stand it anymore.<br />
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It is fascinating to me that my ability to "make do" in the country is related to my emotional capacity at a given time.<br />
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So the months away from home, and the absolutely horrible year this has been, has tapped all of my ability to cope emotionally. A computer hiccough yesterday sent me into a crying tailspin that lasted hours. So I've decided that I'm taking a break.<br />
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The fact is that eventhough we had planned to get rid of our city house, we have not been able to sell it in this market, so it's still there, my little blue collar paracute.<br />
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So I'm going there. For awhile. A long while.<br />
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So I'm still a Minnesota girl, and I'm still a homesteader, but I need to explore some urban farming and take a break from the burden that the farm has become. It will be there when I am ready to return.<br />
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I am still voluptuous, I am still reclaiming simplicity, but I'm going home for awhile. Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-36685006385944677582012-08-17T10:45:00.002-07:002012-08-17T10:48:11.994-07:00The ReturnI spent three months in Florida, finishing my education, and re-evaluating my life. I have some more work to do yet on both counts, but I have returned to the midwest and to my Voluptuous and Simple life. I have often said to friends and family with whom I have reunited, that all I want to do is to "can some tomatoes, make love to my husband, and wear an apron" thus far the apron is working out well.<br />
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Life is hard. Voluptuous, simplistic, or otherwise. To quote Maeve: <i>"If you want to find out what happens next in my story, I'll give you fair warning: the next part is tough. But if you persist, you may recognize your own story of times too hard to bear that seemed as though they would never end. You may find the hidden gifts of those times. You will know that I know all about it. And I won't give you any crap. I wont' say things to you likd god-or goddess-never gives us more than we can bear. I won't lie. Sometimes life is just too much. When you want to lie down and die, I won't judge you. I'll sit and howl with you. Just remember: I am still here, I am telling you this story. And it's not over."</i> <br />
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Bless you Magdalene by any name.<br />
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No my story is not over. My previous way of being, however, is. My way of being in love, my way of being in community, my way of working, and my way of relating to women is irrevocably changed. It remains to be seen exactly how.<br />
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I am so not Voluptuous right now, and nothing is simple. But simplicity is my refuge. Scrubbing cucumbers and making pickles, simmering the milk for yogurt, making cheese, mashing potatoes, and even washing the dishes is filling me with pride and purpose, as silly as that sounds. <br />
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I started this path longing to go back to basics, and to find the balance between a simpler time and the modern things that bring me joy (such as a latte and a great magazine) and so this is where I return. <br />
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Re-Turn: to turn again. Turn toward hope, turn toward things that are whole, and wholesome. I have buried myself in service to others, it is a perfect and socially acceptable place in which to disapper, so few really noticed, not even me. I have not only let myself go, I don't remember what it was like to be put together and present.<br />
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With the coming cold weather, all of nature turns inward in order to survive, those who find no safe place to return go mad or die. Like the rabbits on my German side of the family, I retreat and return to my warren and hope to find sanctuary.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-13707359566601527142012-03-27T13:52:00.003-07:002012-03-27T14:06:39.164-07:00Seeds of ChangeI spent the weekend shopping for a new generator and looking for pussywillows by the side of the road-so many of them were already covered with pollen! This unseasonably warm weather is crazy!<br /><br />The last couple days have been filled with work and chores, and starting seeds on the windowsills. I spent the whole weekend thinking about how big my garden would be and how I could get more chickens, and maybe two pigs and a cow for meat this year, since this is likely to be my last summer that I'm not on call the entire time.<br /><br />Then I got a call from school...they want me to go to Florida for the summer. Why couldn't I have gotten that call on January 30th? Can someone tell me that?<br /><br />I know if I go to Florida, everything changes. I know that what is here at home will be other than how I left it. I feel like this is asking too much of me.<br /><br />My mom always told me I was too rigid, "The only thing you can count on in life, Nikki, is change, so you've got to get more comfortable with it." Well I've had enough, I want some down time and some predictability. Security is probably a myth, but a fairytale doesn't seem so bad right now.<br /><br />I wish I could be like the seeds. I love them, because they are 100% potential. Within those tomato seeds are fresh salads, tasty sauces, and all the smells of summer. Right now with these seeds, my garden and my life are perfect. Nothing has been ruined by storms, pests, or neglect.<br /><br />In my head, all of my plans turn out perfectly and nothing is wasted. If only life were that way.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: I have been making fresh bread everyday and it is amazing.<br /><br />Simplicity update: The joy of clean hair cannot be underestimated.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-21504476981492898792012-02-28T07:34:00.004-08:002012-02-28T08:04:43.880-08:00Why I Hate FebruaryI started hating February when I was 6 years old. It was in February that this first grader endured the shame of being moved from the top math class to the lower math class. I did not know what was happening until I sat down to a worksheet of mathmatical exercises that I had long since mastered.<br /><br />Similar stories take place in fourth grade, seventh grade, ninth grade, and throughout high school. My college transcripts reflect the same. As an adult, I can recount break ups, weight gain, financial loss, and other disasters of life, all happening in February.<br /><br />It has occurred to me that this is probably undiagnosed seasonal affective disorder or "cabin fever" as the case may be. But let me say for the permanent record..."February 2012 is the February that won." I surrender. And to top it off, this SHOULD be the last day......Damn you February!!!! <em>(shaking fist in the air)</em><br /><br />As a woman I have faced the necessity and opportunity of reinvention many times. A few times I have been brave enough to embrace change, and other times I have tried valiantly to resist...mostly by hiding :/ Today I am faced with the same, but this time as a Farmgirl homesteader. My planned on "happliy ever after" may not be my reality, as I had once hoped, so what will that mean?<br /><br />I'm a lot more lonely on the farm these days. I am afraid more of the time. Afraid of coyotes hurting my barn cats, afraid that too much snow and ice on the driveway with not a lot of options for removal, afraid that I will not make the best investment decisions for my home. I have been able to work all winter with the current solar panel and storage system, but living in the dark the rest of the time has been too challenging. I don't know if I should get a more complicated solar voltaic system, or just tie into the grid? Is it time to get a new car, and from where is that money going to come? Do I want to do this hobby farm thing under any circumstances, or only if "XYZ" are true?<br /><br />I am considering options that under normal circumstances, I would never consider. Like, should I sell my wedding rings in order to install a real bathroom, so I can have friends over? Not that I really have any country friends to invite over...which is also probably part of the problem. But for real, it is easy to adapt to constant construction and lack of amenities, but it is not as easy to adapt to the look on your mother's face when you show her how you are actually living...eeek.<br /><br />I wish I could tell you that modern homesteading is all barn dances, fresh veggies, and calico sundresses, but it hasn't been for me. It has been a lot of self-discovery, an ongoing challenge to my marriage, hard physical labor, and more stress than I could have imagined.<br /><br />But it is also silence, security, and simplicity. It's the <strong>voluptuous</strong> that I need to work on.<br /><br />But rejoice gentle readers! March is coming, and it's entering like a LION!!!! This weekend I am spending an entire day learning about cheese making, goat rearing, and water gardening, within my new community. And I have just become the newest member of the Hay River Farmgirls! Meeting local people, who love what I love, and help each other is exactly what I need right now.<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: I think I'm going to invest in some new underwear, like lipstick, it makes me feel better.<br /><br />Simplicity Update: I'm going to ask for some more help, and I'm going to hang out with Shelly, check out her and her man's blog at mainstreethomestead.blogspot.comVoluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-42553273874334242952011-10-26T07:41:00.001-07:002011-10-26T07:59:03.971-07:00Falling off the wagonYes, we do have a wagon, no I did not actually fall off it...yet.<br /><br />How does one blog about voluptuous when one feels neither voluptuous nor simple?<br /><br />I am really concerned about the world right now. There is violence everywhere, and these economic times lead me to believe that a permanent change is coming to our world. In some ways I have both embraced and anticipated this change, but it is scary and sad to me that our world is moving so quickly toward destruction.<br /><br />Do I think most of us will 'survive' of course, please remember I am not an armegeddonist...and if I were 15 years younger I would not be so nervous. I feel like when this empire finally does fall (or irrevocably changes-history does not lie) I will be young enough to suffer for many, many years, and too old to build any kind of new wealth. No wealth is not the goal of life, but it sure makes it easier to be an elder in this country. Plus we are childless, no one will take care of us if we become infirm.<br /><br />Our investments in the stock market, retirement, even my husband's pension are really just burning money. If we actually burned it, at least it would keep the house warm. For now we have chosen to invest in knowledge. Medical knowledge, carpentry, husbandry, agriculture, homemaking skills. If we're right, we will be an asset to the community coming next, if we're wrong, well then we got smarter, and we saved some money, but that's optimistic in my opinion.<br /><br />Change is necessary, but how many people realize that we will not live like our parents, or even grandparents, it's more like great grandparents...if we're lucky. Moving out of a consumer culture is a good thing right? But the revolution is being run by smart phone...Hmmmmm.<br /><br />So I am not abandoning my charge to prove that modern homesteading is for everyone, not just wingnuts, but my heart is filled with fear of the unknown today.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-19198503730361356422011-09-07T14:42:00.000-07:002011-09-07T14:44:45.008-07:00September 2, 2011Allow me to tell a story now. It’s just past 11pm. We have my sisters and my nieces here as usual, plus the people and pets that come with them, who have joined us for the holiday weekend. I am in bed, thinking about the day and how much homework I have to do in the morning. I can hear my sisters singing at the campfire. They range in their song choices from sweet to sacreligious, but I can hear them, I can make out their individual voices like they are my own. I can see the glow of the campfire, and smell the comforting smoke. I taste tears in the back of my throat, and I remember.<br /><br />The year 2000, I moved back to the Twin Cities from my failed experiment called “college”, with no direction and no hope. I fell into despair. I was enticed to go to a spiritual retreat and participate in “The Sacred Hunt”, for lack of a better description, this is an intense ritual/ceremonial/physical experience where fasting and physical activity are engaged in order to seek the divine. I planned from January to participate in this event in August of that year. The week of the event, I fasted, I prayed, I went to the sweatlodge, I cried, I anguished, I thought about driving home. And then it was time to hunt. The elder who gives the blessing before the hunters go to the woods for their travail, grasped my shoulders and said, “Do this for your Sisters.”<br /><br />I know that she did not just mean those heathens outside with the angelic voices, she meant all women. You see I’ve been a big sister for a long time, and I’m good at it. This is what I bring. Some women are good wives, good mothers, good daughters, I am not; I am a Sister.<br /><br />The trappings of these elaborate type of ceremonies no longer hold an appeal for me. They have been hijacked by people who don’t care much or want to have understanding and knowledge about them. The elder who looked into my eyes and spoke the words of the Divine to me, is actually a drug addict, still revered in some similar groups, but essentially pitiful. But the truth of my Sacred Hunt remains.<br /><br />My sisters singing to the dark night, by a cozy fire, living in harmony and always with me, is my secret dream. Serving and sacrificing for my world of Sisters is my life’s work and calling.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-44308245275977617562011-07-20T11:25:00.000-07:002011-07-20T11:50:43.755-07:00Slumber PartySo, DH and I do not have AC in our bedroom, or really any other part of the house. It has been literally 100 degrees here in the upper midwest all week and we are melting away. Sunday, DH was catatonic from the heat, Monday was my turn to crash, Tuesday the electricity was out until just before bed, so we put a window unit in a room that we typically use for storage. DH is sleeping on a girly day bed that makes him look like a giant, I am sleeping on a massage table. AND I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE! Bedtime has been like the slumber parties of my youth. I read him the funny parts of the book I'm into right now, he tells me what is going on with his goofy FB friends.<br /><br />He wakes me up in the morning with kisses and jokes and tries to make the dog attack me. He makes coffee and dire predictions about the weather. I tell him about my crazy dreams of apple orchards and being chased by rednecks who sing songs for me.<br /><br />When we sleep in the same bed we try really hard not to wake or disturb each other, but these separate beds, all Ricky and Lucy style, have turned us into giggling dorm mates and its pretty hilarious.<br /><br />Mature love is much different from new love. You have to measure the comfort and ease that is gained against the panty ripping passion that was once our reality. My panties have gotten much more expensive since then, but a few still get sacrificed now and then. DH and I do not have the perfect marriage, but I do trust him to be gentle with my heart and spirit, and he makes me laugh everyday, like really laugh, til we're both sore and teared up.<br /><br />It is interesting to look back and discover just how closely aligned our goals, dreams, and even politics have become. We are definitely still distinct people, but I have never trusted anyone so much.<br /><br />So on to our little farm. The chickens are producing more eggs than we typically eat, but not so many that we can be reliable sellers. We'd like a few more layers, but this is ok for now.<br /><br />We moved the kittens to the barn this week, so far so good, but everyday I wonder if I will find them all alive and well. I know this is my childlike love for them and also years of being a housecat owner with a natural distrust of the outdoors for cats.<br /><br />The weeds in the garden have taken over, but we have enjoyed food from the garden with regularity. There has been lots of rain and lots of sun, hot though we may be, we are blessed in this way.<br /><br />Berry season is starting to taper off, but the heat plus my work schedule have kept me from having any kind of meaningful harvest. If they hang on til next week, I might still have a chance.<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: My husband really loves me, when I don't slip out of his grip because it's too hot!<br /><br />Simplicity Update: We have new renters for the city house, we hope they are really happy here!Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-15741430823844007232011-07-11T15:51:00.000-07:002011-07-11T16:15:26.254-07:00World ViewI just finished reading <em>The Dirty Life</em> a memoir about the first year on a farm by modern homesteaders who created a whole diet CSA in upstate New York. After reading this I was inspired to put in some potatoes and work on the beet and bean beds.<br /><br />I also forgave myself for not having all of the skills and energy to match my ambitions. I feel much more "hurried" in every aspect of my life lately. I am having issues with feeling old. Not decrepit or anything like that, but certainly hemmed in by the years left in my life. Not everything is possible anymore. It is time to refine my desires, and focus on what is really important and let the rest go. This is much easier said than done, much, much easier.<br /><br />I am finding myself for the first time with REAL regrets. Like anyone, I have wished things have gone better or differently than I had wanted, but I've never had the realizations that I have now of having made bad choices for myself. <br /><br />The world is not as full of wonder as it once was, the possibilities are no longer infinite. One of the chapters in the book I read was about how freeing it was for the writer when her world shrunk from the East side of NYC to the 15 acres of her little farm and the predictible turning of the seasons. I guess I always wanted both, hence my blog name...<br /><br />I want to be a world citizen AND a locavore, highly integrated into her community. I don't know how this is possible. In my search for roots and home, I find myself in the place "in between". I don't live in my farm community, and I don't live in the cities anymore, I don't commune with people in either place. I am trapped, and there is no way out of it, except through it.<br /><br />This begs the question about what my world view should be, and if it is as simple as choosing? More importantly what is my role, where is my place in said world view? Life certainly did not turn out the way I thought it would be, not that it ever does, but I am really sad about it. Disenchanted doesn't quite cover it. I think I still feel like that world I imagined does in fact exist, and it is still going on without me. I have not decided if it is better to still believe and feel left out, or to stop believing altogether.<br /><br />Sometimes I wish I was easier to please, I'm sure my loved ones wish this as well. <br /><br />I am sure that this will work itself out. In the meantime, I am learning how to can and eating something of the farm everyday, and that is pretty great.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-74679787661978698572011-06-20T11:32:00.000-07:002011-06-20T11:49:14.609-07:00I love Summer, Sisters, and Wonder WomanSummer is easily the best thing that ever happens to me. I embrace it like a lover and try to pull every possible experience and sensation out of it until we must part again.<br /><br />Spent the weekend with my sisters and friends per usual, Sister J brought the most yummy pasta and pie, it was great!<br /><br />The garden is in, and much bigger than I anticipated, hopefully I'll be able to care for it all.<br /><br />DH and I got a free house but we have to pay to get it moved. Once in place, I am looking forward to decorating it and starting a small farmstay business. The farm is so lovely, I am exctited to share it.<br /><br />It is amazing to me that in 17 months I will graduate from midwifery school and finally be doing my life's work. I live with a lot of regret and sadness that I did not know my calling until I was well into my adulthood and all of the complications that entails. I do think their are some benefits to my circuitous route, but I am, as usual, way too hard on myself. My preceptor says the same, I drive myself over tiny flaws that she doesn't even notice.<br /><br />I'm thinking a lot these days about relationships, how they are born, live, expand, and even die. And how we as humans tend to blame ourselves when they run their natural courses. My mom always used to say that 90% of what people do is about them. It is just so true. And that's ok. Everyone is on their own journey, and they have to act on their own behalf. I think it's safe to say that 90% of the state of one's own life is because of them too; if we follow the above logic to it's reasonable conclusion.<br /><br />My mom got me a Wonder Woman shirt for my birthday, she's the perfect hero, and it's kind of a long term family inside joke. I'm going to wear it to births to remind my clients how amazing they are.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-52563687058422243262011-03-15T07:21:00.000-07:002011-03-15T07:28:58.761-07:00Victorious ReturnI am back at the farm this week, for the first time since before the holidays. Let me tell you, it's difficult to start a fire when the kindling is under 2 feet of snow and ice.<br /><br />We had a good time though. <br /><br />I need to get my life back oriented to the farm, but am not looking forward to being cold and alone again. The wood stoves need to be stocked every 2 hours, or they go out. This makes sleeping, visiting neighbors, shopping, and school much more difficult than they have to be.<br /><br />But I can smell spring in the air, and I am filled with hope.<br /><br />Our dear neighbor Rose, told me I could shower, eat, and even sleep at her place, so that is an option until things get settled at our place. We'll see.<br /><br />In the meantime, I have bees coming in a month, and a garden to get in a month after that.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: We had a party this weekend:hearty beef stew, card game, good friends and family.<br /><br />Simplicity update: My clever husband melted snow for wash water...never occured to me, I have so much to learn....Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-75968798719691631542011-01-22T09:10:00.000-08:002011-01-22T09:16:39.074-08:00Garden PlanningWith weeks of bitter cold and months of snow still stretching out before us, I am longing for the garden season. Counting the weeks until I can walk out in the dirt barefoot is pretty unbearable. So I am participating in the indoor sport of garden planning.<br /><br />May blessings fall upon the seed catalog people who send their catalogs just in time to give hope to the frozen north.<br /><br />We are focusing on perennials and the orchard this year. We are also thinking about growing hops for the bees this year. I have already orders 15 pounds of bees and 5 queens!<br /><br />I am hoping to stop by the Shrine to Guadalupe outside of LaCrosse this week to bring the Lady some roses and pray for spring.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-61620602194959276512011-01-07T17:10:00.000-08:002011-01-07T17:49:29.667-08:00False StartWell, I am declaring it an official false start.<br /><br />We were snowed OUT of the farm for most of the month of December. Last week we had to hire a front end loader to dig out the nearly half mile driveway. This weekend we are in the city again due to the bitter cold.<br /><br />The construction did not go as fast as we anticipated and the money did not last as long.<br /><br />The good news is that I love my job working from home and DH and I are both finishing our degrees this year. I have not declared 2011 to be anything special yet, but I have to say that I'm happy to see 2010 go.<br /><br />The seed catalogs have been piling up in the mailbox and I am inspired to plan my garden for this year. We have not thrown in the towel, we're just back at the bottom of the hill and heading back up once the snow melts.<br /><br />We brought the chickens and the barn cats to the city, it was truly a rescue mission. We lost one chicken to one very bored dog the first week they were here, sad, but what can you do? One of the chickens is still laying eggs, which surprises and delights me. The barn cats are taking to the lazy life of house cats with no problems whatsoever.<br /><br />School starts up again next week and I will be on the road at least two if not four days a week through April.<br /><br />In preparation for "take two" DH and I went to a "Meet Up" for people interested in self-sufficiency. Sounds safe enough, right? Well, it was, interesting.<br /><br />We met with about 8 other strangers at a coffee shop. It started out great with a conversation about solar power, but it became apparent that no one else in the group is as far along on the journey as we are. It was cool though, everyone had something to contribute.<br /><br />Then began the conspiracy theories...according to the vocal members of the group, and not argued by the silent members, the following things are happening right now:<br /><br />1. Aliens are killing the birds and fish.<br />2. The government is taking over NOAH and trying to control the weather.<br />3. The government is allowing Monsanto to sterilize all of the soil in the US, so that crops will only grow if we purchase supplements.<br />4. The city of Minneapolis is going to ban backyard gardens within city limits.<br />5. Farmer's markets are also going to be banned in the US.<br />and<br />6. We all will be dependent on people who can make candles and soap in the near future.<br /><br />I tried to guide the conversation back to skill building and current projects and asked flat out if preparing for the fall of civilization was the purpose of the group, but no one came with me. DH stood up and announced we were leaving when a latecomer showed up and sat down next to me, with his Glock on his belt.<br /><br />I am renewed with a great zeal for the need for a blog/account of modern homesteading that does not include armageddonist ravings. I hope that the happy, grounded, educated, and successful homesteaders/farmers will get their stories out into the public. <br /><br />So many people have this dream, to simplify, to live better with less; less consumerism, less stress, less time devoted to the daily grind.<br /><br />While I like to make candles, and plan to make soap this year, I am not doing it because the post-apocalyptic populous will have to bow to me or stay dirty. Folk crafts, and homesteading skills help me to feel grounded and connected to my ancestors. If they make me a "Mad Max" Queen, well that's just a bonus.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: My new year's resolution is to wear something homemade or vintage every day this year.<br /><br />Simplicity update: I got two turkeys, twelve pounds of cheese and three boxes of dry milk from an online barter site!Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-19356449089632471122010-11-19T10:19:00.000-08:002010-11-19T10:55:36.677-08:00Baby, It's Cold Inside"No, I mean it, I'm freezing, wake up and put more wood on the fire!"<br /><br />This is every night at our little farm on the prairie... I think it's a 70/30 split. 70% of the problem is that once we get heat in the house, it is escaping, and 30% is that our woodstove may not be as efficient as it needs to be. Of course my husband disagrees and thinks it's all the woodstove, which can't be fixed until we can can get 3 other men over to move out the old and in with the new.<br /><br />DH is emotionally "done" building the house. I don't blame him really, it's taken a lot of work and all of our savings, and every favor we ever had. He's been working every weekend and some vacation days for over a year now. <br /><br />However, the house is not done, so that's a bit of a problem. <br /><br />Everyday I consider throwing in the towel and moving back to the city, not because I don't want to be here, but because there is neither human resources nor financial ones to solve problems at the farm anymore. I have no idea what to do, so I am little help. We have spent all of our savings to get to this point, so hiring someone isn't an option either.<br /><br />It's easy to get discouraged because so little progress has been made as far as livability goes, but I know intellectually that the entire house has been sided, the roof was finished, the stove and pipe went in and the exterior was painted this summer, so that's a good summer's worth of work.<br /><br />I just want to be out there. I have new friends out there, as well as, many new colleagues that I want to get to know better. I want to stop living in two places, but while I am willing to live without running water for awhile longer, I can't be cold. I just can't do it.<br /><br />We do have the option of adding another wood stove or a propane heater, but the former would mean that I have no office and the later scares me.<br /><br />Better start knitting more sweaters I guess.<br /><br />Simplicity update: The most selfish person I have ever met is one of the city house roommates and is moving out on Saturday....thank you Jesus.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: I learned how to make Greek yogurt, my world will never be the same...Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-59230318857208798172010-09-13T17:00:00.000-07:002011-01-22T09:10:07.246-08:00Git'r DoneAs Autumn quickly approaches, we are in a Get it Done mode here on the farm, or as my "grandmother" would write, "farm". I know I'll never be a real farmer to her until I have a cow, or several hundred...I guess I'm not sure where the threshhold is?<br /><br />Not only do we have to get serious about winterizing our little homemade homestead, but DH and are both at the university this semester and applying for graduation in May, RIGHT ON!<br /><br />I have also been offered an opportunity in midwifery, which would require another move, what? Yes, well, it may be in the cards for us I'm afraid to say. I'll know more as we get closer to the New Year. <br /><br />But even with all of this hard work and planning we still have money burning a hole in our pockets to purchase more real estate. The city house is about to be rented up, so it's either the school house across the street from the farm, a storefront, or more rental housing. <br /><br />I was going to buy rental housing and help out a "friend" but I found out about a week after the deal fell through that she owes about $20-30K for services that she didn't render and the Sheriff is getting involved, so I think I dodged a bullet there. I'm sure I don't know the whole story, but to quote this same friend "it's good to hear both sides of the story, because the truth is somewhere in between". I hope that is in this case because if not, she's probably going to jail. <br /><br /><em>(Note: January 22, 2011, I was happy to hear that the above situation is at least partially resolved, and that my instincts surrounding the situation were right on)</em><br /><br />We have had some good times too. A week ago we got two 12 week kittens to take care of the mouse issue. They live in barn, purr like crazy, and make my nieces happy. They also bring me dead mice everyday...these free cats were a GREAT investment.<br /><br />I invented a word today: hilariprecious def: the only description of a cat the size of a coffee cup trying to attack and almost full grown Cochian hen. Synonym: epic fail.<br /><br />DH and I went for a drive on Sunday to spend some time together and reflect on the move. We have just finished the "easy season" so it seemed like a good idea. A couple challenges have definitely been:<br /><br />1. The time apart and the fact that the farm is still a vacation spot for him and a home for me. <br /><br />2. The isolation is as difficult as I expected, although I have met some really great, amazing, mature, hard working women in my new community, and I feel like I could be making some deep friendships. <br /><br />3. The money didn't flow as fast or as soon as we had hoped, but fall and winter look good.<br /><br />4. The livestock tie me to the farm. I have said more than once that I am being held hostage by $18 worth of groceries.<br /><br />5. Completely off grid is not the right choice for us in this climate. We will be tying into electric, expanding the solar and selling back as well as buying.<br /><br />Some great unexpected joys:<br /><br />1. I lost a few dear friends due to the changes in me that made hanging out with them no longer possible-I tried to save it, ignored it as long as I could, but ultimately I snapped. Everyone, including me, got hurt. As a result, I am closer to people who I always thought were way too cool or smart to hang out with me, and who wouldn't be caught dead with my old crowd. The loyalty of three peeps (my originals) is particularity stunning.<br /><br />2. I have the relationship with my sisters that I have always wanted. I see them almost every week and I talk to one or both of them everyday. This has not been true in my entire adult life. We are coming to let go of our childhood issues and really know, love, and respect each other. I'm taking my place back, as the oldest daughter, and I think everyone is relieved.<br /><br />3. My marriage is stronger than it has ever been. Every couple does things that hurt each other, everyone has a journey of highs, lows, ebbs, and flows and we are certainly nothing if not average. But through the past three months, we have come clean, forgiven each other, reconnected and are having the time of our life together!<br /><br />4. The connection with nature is so potent. I don't enjoy or experience the days, nights, and seasons, I feel them in my body, all the time, not just when I am concentrating. I can't stop myself from praying. Turning the wheel of the year is as easy as breathing, no effort, no planning. The apples and pears ripen...autumn is arriving. Their fragrance and sweetness is everywhere. I pile them into baskets, they give witness of the divine. The rose buds became heavy blooms, and are now saucy orange hips, soon to be thorns then rose buds again. Cheesy romantic poetry perhaps, but now I feel like I am living it with them, right now feeling my own fruitfulness-storing energy for the coming season.<br /><br />We absolutely did the right thing. In doing so have created an affordable home for three college/working gals, made a commitment to finish our educations, came full circle back to our families, and became more ourselves and more us.<br /><br />I'm sure all this rose hippy love will be fodder for sarcastic joking in February, but let's enjoy it together for now, huh?<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: My husband has suddenly become my boyfriend again...well need I say more?<br /><br />Simplicity Update: I am bringing almost my entire library to a new birth center, it is a beautiful plan: someone uses them, I maintain ownership, I don't have to store them!<em></em><em></em>Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-11674039066214059702010-07-13T09:44:00.000-07:002010-07-13T10:08:31.838-07:00Roll up the streetsI had to work later than usual yesterday, and was stuck eating chex mix for dinner...again. <br /><br />I am struggling with the fact that not only is everything far away, but also, the piddly stores that are around close at 6pm around here...sometimes 8, but evening is the only time I have to go to any of them. I have to figure this can't work for many other people either?<br /><br />I mean I grew up with stories of how hard farmer's have to work "sun up to sun down", when do they have time to grocery shop between 9am and 6pm? The rest of my neighbors seem to be factory workers, or childcare providers...same problem as I see it.<br /><br />I never have everything I need. I am constantly making lists of things that I need from the city house, the grocery, Target, the hardware store. Trying to remember these lists and the water jugs every time I do get to leave is a hassle. Don't even talk to me about going to the bank. It's 90 min one way...oh and I lost my cash card and sunglasses, so I am a little reliant on cash and my car's visor at the moment.<br /><br />Last summer when I was at the farm by myself, it was fine that there was nothing to do at night because I was overstimulated at work, now quite the opposite. I need to get out of here at night, but to where? I used to enjoy the slow pace,and going to bed with the sun, but today it sucks.<br /><br />The spending from this spring and the month without income is catching up with us this month...I'm more than a little worried. I'm sure it will smooth out by September, but then we have to pay tuition again...ugh.<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: it's still summer, and that's pretty great<br />Simplicity Update: Sister J and DH started a cottage industry this weekend, I went in for my Trellis consultation...Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-76466032861863403152010-07-09T10:34:00.001-07:002010-07-09T10:55:39.629-07:00StandardsYou know how people when they are camping or at the cabin, talk about "camp clean" or other such phrases to indicate that somehow, away from every day life, things don't need to be as perfect. You can wear clothes three days in a row, shower less often, eat marshmallows and gatorade for breakfast, wash dishes in cold water...these are just examples.<br /><br />Many visitors to our off-grid life say these things, and you know it's cool, I've let some of my standards slip...but I'm not going in the same direction as everybody else...<br /><br />You see, I'm a "make your own cleaning supplies" "cook from scratch" "tree-hugging, dirt-worshipping, environmentalist". And since moving here I must bleach everything! I live for Chlorox, and hand sanitizer. <br /><br />I actually served a PBH sandwich to my dear sister with a mouse turd on it...now this gal took it in stride, because this is actually not the first time I have offered her poop as food. The sight of that 4 year old with bird guano in her mouth that 8-year-old me told her was candy is STILL priceless.<br /><br />I spend most of my day wiping things, and I don't even HAVE small children...ok DH counts as twin toddlers, but that is another matter entirely.<br /><br />I feel the need to boil things, bleach things, do laundry in hot water. Good clean dirt does not bother me...dead chipmunks, and squirrels, any insect, any poo, makes me FEEL infectious...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!<br /><br />I even spritz down the chickens daily because their dirty feathers make me feel like we're living in a trailer park. They dig it though...until they are in the freezer, they hit the chicken lottery, just sayin'.<br /><br />In the shower yesterday-where I do my best thinking-I noticed how tan my feet were in comparison to my legs. I do tend to wear long skirts or dresses with no shoes, it's a look not everyone can pull off I assure you. But then I bent down to wash them with soap and my "tan" went down the drain. Potentially, I've been walking around with filthy feet for weeks!<br /><br />This is not so bad though. When DH and I were first dating, we were sitting on the front porch, my alabaster and manicured feet in his lap and he said "I wish your feet were dirty" Fearing a fetish that would end our relationship, I cautiously asked why. He said, "Because that would mean you were outside having fun, and that's the life I want for you." Pretty good standards.<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: I am wearing a sundress today that hasn't fit around the middle since <strong><strong>2005</strong></strong>.<br /><br />Simplicity Update: I am <strong><strong>wearing</strong></strong> a sundress today that I have been storing since 2005.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-77079747840379938822010-06-22T05:13:00.000-07:002010-06-22T05:50:17.520-07:00Woman at the WellUsually I go to our home in the city for two days a week. But I have a Mama "percolating" so I thought it would be wise to stick around the farm for now. This created the need for me to go get some more water. There is a municipal, spring fed well just down the road. We went there for an emergency once, now we prefer it to any other water.<br /><br />So I was the Woman at the Well. It caused quite a stir. I'm not sure where all the women in this community are, but evidently they rarely venture from their homes, once they get married at 18. Not less than 12 cars drove through the area (there is absolutely no reason to drive through,unless you are just checking out who is there) all men, all slowing down to watch me pump water, to watch it splash into my bottles, and onto my feet.<br /><br />I imagined that old story about Jesus and the woman at the well. What did He see? What did She see? You know he had been traveling for a long time, on foot. He was probably as happy to see water as he was to see a woman. Water...Woman...they go together. They quench the thirst, wash over you, make you clean, change your inner temperature-up or down. She may have seen the Stranger, her first instinct to ignore, walk away fast, but the warring feelings inside her told her to stay and give what release that she could. <br /><br />She had a man, a good man, at home waiting for her to come back with the days water. He loved her, and there were lots of women in the village who admired him. And yet this Stranger called forth something in her that she thought had passed with her girlhood. So she stands at the well, for all to see and gossip about later; the Stranger asks for a drink, she lifts her cupped hands to His mouth...They are both released, unglued, awed, made whole and it takes only seconds. Whom has baptized who?<br /><br />No one knows who this woman really was, or if this actually happened, or if it is another great teaching story; for me she is the Magdalene. She gives her emotion and her body, risks her life and lifestyle, for love, for the lover, for the Beloved. Later, in a tense moment, when the Stranger called out "I thirst", it was for Her.<br /><br />I do not typically wax biblical when doing random chores, but I felt exposed at the well, open, necessary. When offered help to carry in my water, by dear friends visiting the farm this week, I had to say no. Carrying that water to my home seemed like a sacred duty at that moment. I felt tied to all women by that simple task. I imagined African women with big pottery jars on their heads, South American women with skin bags tied with rope, ancient Irish women throwing gold into wells to bless them. I am just an average American woman, with bpa free plastic bottles, but we are all one, thirsting, at the well.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-76796099445601255282010-06-17T06:10:00.000-07:002010-06-17T06:21:25.393-07:00ChoresEveryday we have chores. They are not super intense, but they are required and it's everyday regardless of how much I'd rather sleep, or if I want to go out of town.<br /><br />Chickens have to be let out, watered and fed, pets need the same, and need to be walked and cleaned up after, and the garden needs to be weeded and watered. At first it was daunting, now it adds a peaceful rhythm to my life.<br /><br />I had a mentor once, Rena Tarbet, who said "The less you do, the less you want to do. And the opposite is true too." I have found this to be accurate in my life in all aspects. The more I do, the more I want to do, and the more gets done. So starting out the day feeding 8 animals, taking a walk, and tending to the plants, makes me more productive overall and sets the pace for the day. By the time evening rolls around, and I'm knitting or crafting for pleasure and profit, I feel good about the day, like I've earned the down time and the rest.<br /><br />I noticed last night, while in bed reading magazines with a flashlight (so summer camp) that the knot I have carried around in my right shoulder for the past 17 years is almost gone. How's THAT for a benefit of country living?<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: The design for my meditation room is crazy, sexy, amazing!<br /><br />Simplicity Update: We will be opening our sweatlodge this weekend.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-50152272256288664482010-06-10T14:05:00.000-07:002010-06-10T14:07:36.465-07:00My first weekWell the big move happened, but only with the generosity of friends and family. It took eight friends and 2 sisters to make it work, but we’re here. I was “can’t get out of bed” ill for the big moving day, so my dearest girlfriends finished packing up my house and cleaned it, while another cooked for all our volunteers at the farm. My sisters and the rest of our friends finished the floors and trim in the farm house and unloaded the truck. All of this happened while I was sleeping and trying to get healthy…<br /><br />Everyone was sweet and gracious, but imagine my horror! I could not make myself move, but had to continually remind myself that if these women were this sick, I would gladly pack their crap and scrub their tubs. My parents sent a cash gift with a nice card. I would scrub their tub too!<br /><br />I started full speed at my new job on Tuesday, only to run out of ink in my printer and have to make a 2hr round trip to get more. DH and I started our list of “things we can never run out of” on Wednesday night. We are not on a deserted island or anything-I mean one can have a pizza delivered here, but it’s 14 miles to gasoline and groceries, and almost an hour to the nearest office supply or discount box store, so it’s not financially or ecologically responsible to make too many trips. In the City, we were seven blocks from Target (from which all good flows) so learning to stock up and get everything we need when we’re at the store is going to be a big shift for us.<br /><br />I got six laying hens for an early birthday present from DH, he built the coolest coop for the gals, but I won the recognition of being the most fearless chicken wrangler. As soon as I unpack my camera, I will post photos. We feel like real farmers now with our garden, our bees, and our chickens!<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: This one is hard this week, there is nothing sexy about the amount of phlem I am producing…DH made breakfast sandwiches that we packed with coffee, water, and cherries in a basket for our chicken field trip.<br /><br />Simplicity Update: The wood scaffolding was reinvented into our outdoor shower. I still have to boil water for our solar shower to make it warm enough though!Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-57516214673684321692010-05-06T15:07:00.000-07:002010-05-06T15:15:43.446-07:00Officially RetiredEight minutes ago, I stopped working for anyone but myself. How I've got things set up now, I'm going to work from home, for less hours, and make more money each month between clients and rent. Yeah, we should have come up with this plan much earlier...<br /><br />I don't think anyone has ever left my employer on good terms before me. My boss left today without saying goodbye. Didn't shake my hand. Didn't ask for my keys. Nothing. I just don't think she knew how it was supposed to go, so she snuck out of the office saying zero to anyone. Very strange, but nothing shocks me anymore.<br /><br />Contemplating how to spend my evening. I'm alone tonight, should I pick up some bedding plants and head to the garden? More screw top wine? Be a good girl and study? I do feel as though I should mark the occasion somehow. We'll see how it plays out I guess.<br /><br />I've been talking to a lot of people whose dreams are coming true this spring. I definitely feel like I just had to be brave enough to jump, and the water appeared. The world is a wonderful place, if one just allows that to be true.<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: I'm retired!<br /><br />Simplicity Update: I'm retired!Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-18924764239221657762010-05-03T05:57:00.000-07:002010-05-03T06:14:12.095-07:00Got Apron?YES I do! DH and I spent our first weekend alone together since February! <br /><br />Friday, we got our phone and I did some consulting work. I also decided on paint colors for the dining room and my office. DH napped, then we went to the post office to change our address, had our vet records for Missy Cat and Bella Dog transferred to our new vet and made an appointment for Bella, then we had pizza.<br /><br />Saturday, we went to the local Catholic church for the craft, bake and plant sale. I left with a large rhubarb plant, and the cutest apron ever! DH left with cinnamon bread, of which I ate half because he didn't want to stop for breakfast. Bella got her first shots, and our vet told us she could turn out to be a 70 lb dog! So, she is going to grown into those paws and tail... DH finished the interior walls on the main floor and we picked out an exterior paint color. It's going to be apple green with creamy white trim, and cobalt blue doors. Way too cute.<br /><br />Sunday, I washed dishes, took out trash, made french toast, wore an apron, gathered laundry and met with a doula client. DH trimmed out the front door so we can install the screen door and put a lockset on the front door too! He also planted the rhubarb and I set out the solar string lights to charge. <br /><br />For May Day we celebrated in the usual way, DH took to his role as May King very seriously. I don't think our land will have any problems with fertility this year. DH bought me a bottle of wild cherry flavored screw top wine, all I needed was a straw once that baby was cracked open...is wine supposed to fizz?<br /><br />Voluptuous Update: For an extra $5 one of the delivery kids at the pizza place will DELIVER to my remote farm AND stop for off-sale if requested, gotta luv Wisconsin!<br /><br />Simplicity Update: I caught the baby dog using my new black heels as a pillow...Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-25174512909463583982010-04-27T05:22:00.000-07:002010-04-27T05:39:20.458-07:00Goodnight Sweet PrinceVoo took a turn for the worse yesterday. I was able to stay home with him and the decision to take him in to see the vet was simple. He stopped breathing several times in the truck on the way. DH and I are spent, we're both sick, still greiving our old Whitey and now our Black Cat too. Nilsens brought dinner to us last night, we feel so very fortunate to have them.<br /><br />Voo lived his whole life as an after thought, and died much the same. I got Voo about a year after I got Missy Cat, mostly as a companion for her, which she NEVER appreciated. Voo was always shy and hid for most of the day, but at night he slept on my neck for 12 years, and barked at Tony every morning for waking me up:)<br /><br />Voo and Whitey loved each other like crazy and were often seen grooming each other, or sleeping in one of the dog beds together. It is fitting that they would not want to be in the Summerland without one another. So Voo and Whitey will be buried at the farm at the same time, once the ashes are returned to us. Their collars hang together in a special place in our home. Voo, always second fiddle, is first in our hearts and dearly missed.<br /><br />I am thinking today of people who play second fiddle. You know, the friends who really love you, but never make it into your inner circle for some unknown or unacknowledged reason. Maybe it's just chemistry, or the time in your life etc. I try not to have tiered friendships. I have acquantances and people to whom I am devoted, but I guess inevitably there are folks that don't demand enough so they slip through the cracks.<br /><br />The great tragedy of our generation is that we are working so fast and so hard, and multitasking to the point of infinite multiplication that we don't have time for people anymore. I have certainly found myself losing touch with anyone who doesn't check their email regularily...A few of us were chatting a breakfast a few months ago, all with Crackberries in hand, at least 2 of us with multiple super phones, and everyone expressed feeling like they are running downhill, with no end in sight.<br /><br />Do yourself a favor this week. Mine the quiet cave, and reach out to a friend you haven't seen, cuddle the low maintenance child, pet the scaredy cat. Listen to the birds sing up the sun before you head to the shower and ratrace, it will do you good.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: I won an Earth Day gift basket at the co-op!<br /><br />Simplicity update: Cats like it when you sing to them, even if you aren't a good singer and have laryngitis.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5789309386690064771.post-21887861054541006492010-04-25T09:27:00.000-07:002010-04-25T09:47:14.844-07:00When it rains, it pours...then you get mushroomsOur dear black cat Voo, has been losing weight since the white dog passed. We found out he has two kinds of cancer and a blocked bile duct. He's not going to make it. For now he's as home with a tube in his tummy and we have to feed him from a syringe 4 times per day. Waiting for him to get worse or pass, both of which are inevitable. It's a lot of loss in a short amount of time. <br /><br />Between finals, the move, leaving my job, continuing construction, greiving, and caring for our sick cat; I'm at the end of my rope. Did I mention I have also had laryngitis for a week? Unfortunately I am also picking fights with my husband, who is also stressed. He doesn't do things, or think about things the way that I do, and his social needs are different from mine. It's hard to be sensitive to his needs when I feel so bad myself.<br /><br />Construction and moving have been stalled by the rain this weekend, but I expect to find morels in about a week thanks to that same rain. It's much the same in my life right now. We have had delays and challenges ($3,000 vet bill for one) but ultimately we are still heading toward the prize. Our phone and internet go in at the farm on Friday, so that will make studying much, much easier, and DH and I won't have to spend every weekend apart anymore. Having class online is great, but it has kept me tied to our house in the city.<br /><br />Voluptuous update: I got to pick out beautiful locksets for my new house, I've never had anything new before, just always dealt with what was there, it was fun. I went with rubbed bronze and feminine curves.<br /><br />Simplicity update: The bees arrived on Earth Day, 3 stings and it went OK, but there were some intense moments. I fixed the hive and liberated the Queen on Saturday, which was uneventful. So far I am a GREAT beekeeper.Voluptuous Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02576192010911134582noreply@blogger.com1